*Greener Grass*

Marriage takes effort. There is no way to keep  your love thriving if you don't give energy and time to your spouse and to their happiness. It is easy to become complacent, and when this happens, many people find themselves looking for that love and support in other places. Infidelity can easily creep in, even when the person involved does not realize it. Infidelity is not only physical; it is emotional as well. It usually starts out as emotional, then can lead to physical infidelity if not stopped soon enough.

Notice where you are investing most of your energy. BE AWARE and consciously invest that energy in your spouse, or, like I said before, you will begin to look for other places to invest time and effort. In the book The Marriage Garden, by James Marshall, he has the quote,

"In marriage, the grass grows greener on the side of the fence you water most."

 

'Water' your marriage. Find ways to invest in your spouse. Everyone has crazy schedules, but be sure to set apart a specific amount of time, a specific time every day, to spend with your spouse, and to have meaningful conversation with them. It takes effort and a willing, selfless heart.

 

I read an article in my Family Relations class called "Infidelity: Protecting our Marriages" by Scott Gardner and Christian Greiner. They give four ways to prevent infidelity.  

 

     1) Be on your guard. Many newly wed couples believe that because they have a temple marriage that they don't have to work at it because it is already celestial. To this, they say, " A temple marriage does not guarantee a celestial marriage, or even a pleasant one. No matter who we are, where we were married, how much we love each other, or what church calling we have, we must always be on guard against affairs."

 

     2) Be FIERCELY loyal to one another. Satan attacks subtly, with a little here and a little there. Don't develop online friendships. Don't ride alone in a car with a coworker. These little things can and will eventually lead to larger things. Setting boundaries, and letting others know of those boundaries, while it can be awkward, will be infinitely better than trying to repair a marriage.

 

     3) Control your thoughts. Keep yourselves for each other in mind and body and spirit. Do not let your thoughts wander. Keep yourselves busy with good, uplifting things. Elder Maxwell said, "Keep anxiously engaged in good things, for idleness has a way of wrongly insisting again and again that it is ourselves we must think of pleasing." This will prevent selfishness in our marriages.

 

     4) Put your spouse first. In Doctrine and Covenants 42:22 it says, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all the heart, and shalt cleave unto her and NONE else." Notice that it doesn't say "no one" else. It says "none." This can also include extracurricular activities, games, other people, or work. Cleave to your spouse above all else. This is divine, and the only way to truly have a happy and successful marriage.

 

Marriage is the one most important thing a person can accomplish in this life. It is hard. It takes work and love and selflessness. It takes work. Did I mention that it takes a bunch of work? We must always be on our guard against infidelity, and put our spouse before all else. After your relationship with God comes your relationship with your spouse; it is important to work as hard as possible to build a strong and lasting relationship, and when you do you will have so much joy. Make people wonder and wish that they could have what you have in their own relationships. Love what you have.